


it don't mean a thing (if it ain't got that swing)

by carissima



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bartenders, Fake Dating, First Dates, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 04:12:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19783012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carissima/pseuds/carissima
Summary: “Alright,” Bucky says and stands with his hands on his hips and gives Steve a narrowed glare. “Hit me. What went wrong?”“I uh, don’t actually know?” Steve says, and now he feels an embarrassed flush creep over his cheeks. “She stood me up.”Bucky stares at him. Blinks once. And stares some more. “You,” he says flatly. “You got stood up?”





	it don't mean a thing (if it ain't got that swing)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm just dipping my toes in here with a good old fashioned fake dating au
> 
> thanks to bee for the beta and aimee for looking over this with her critical eye!

Bucky’s wiping down the bar when the bell above the door jingles. He glances up before he straightens and lets out an audible sigh. “What happened this time?”

Steve slides into his usual seat at the bar and flashes him a resigned smile. “What makes you think something happened?”

“Well, it's a Friday night, which is date night for Mr. Steve Rogers,” Bucky says, lifting a hand to start counting. “It’s not even 9pm yet and here you are, alone and looking miserable. And you’ve got your date outfit on.”

Steve looks down at his favorite khaki pants and a blue plaid shirt, buttoned over a white t-shirt. “This isn’t my date outfit,” he protests. He’s almost certain he wore his other blue shirt on his last date.

“Uh huh,” Bucky says, clearly humoring him. “Sure thing, Stevie. Did you mix it up last time with your brown leather jacket?”

Steve has an awful feeling that he actually might have. “Shut up,” he says goodnaturedly and nods when Bucky offers him a beer - his favorite brand. “Thanks. And you can talk, Mr. Black-Shirt and Tight Black Pants. Color exists, you know.”

“First of all, this is a uniform, you jerk,” Bucky tells him dryly. “And secondly, you’ve never seen me outside of this bar. For all you know, I could be into tie dye or neons when I’m off-duty.”

Steve snickers as he does a quick sweep of Bucky from head to waist. “You don’t seem the type,” Steve offers. He’d bet his last paycheck that Bucky leaned towards dark and darker as a fashion style whether he’s at work or not.

Bucky makes a non-committal noise. “Hold on,” he says and moves down the bar to serve another customer.

Steve idly watches him move gracefully around the bar. It’s barely a minute before he drifts back towards Steve.

“Alright,” Bucky says and stands with his hands on his hips and gives Steve a narrowed glare. “Hit me. What went wrong?”

“I uh, don’t actually know?” Steve says, and now he feels an embarrassed flush creep over his cheeks. “She stood me up.”

Bucky stares at him. Blinks once. And stares some more. “You,” he says flatly. “You got stood up?”

“Um, yeah,” Steve mutters and focuses very hard on staring into his beer because Bucky is still staring at him.

“You,” Bucky repeats. “She knows what you look like, right?”

“Met on a dating app,” Steve admits and bites his lower lip before he sighs and looks up to find Bucky’s look of sheer disbelief. “How I look is pretty much the only thing she knows about me.”

“A girl who knows nothing about you except that you’re blonde and gorgeous and built like a fucking god, turned you down?” Bucky says slowly.

Steve exhales. “Yeah,” he says and shrugs lightly. Since puberty hit him pretty hard, he’s never really had a problem attracting anyone. It’s after they get to know him that he gets the brush off. Being stood up is a whole new and exciting way for him to get dumped.

“Steve,” Bucky says as he leans his elbows on the bar. “You’ve been coming into this little bar of mine for the past, what, five months? I feel like we’ve become friends. You come in after your terrible dates, moon around here for an hour or two and then you come back a few weeks later and repeat the whole process.”

“If this is a pep talk, it’s the most depressing one I’ve ever heard,” Steve mutters. It’s pretty galling to realize that he’s so bad at dating that his regular, cute, post-date bartender considers them to be friends.

“That’s probably why this place is only half-full on a Friday night,” Bucky says dryly.

Steve actually picked this bar five months ago after another terrible date precisely because it had looked small and cosy, half-full of people who didn’t look like they were trying to pick up or impress anyone. By his third consecutive Friday night post-date wallowing, he and Bucky had been on first-name terms.

“There’s no way this girl stood you up when you look like that,” Bucky continues and waves his hand in front of Steve’s face. “You must have done something else.”

“I swear,” Steve protests. “We only messaged to agree a time and place for the date. That she never showed for.”

Bucky doesn’t look convinced. “Steve, I’m gonna be honest.”

Steve winces. “Sure?” he says, feeling anything but sure.

“You’re gorgeous,” Bucky says. “You have the most ridiculously attractive body I think I’ve ever seen. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look.”

“Uh, thanks?” Steve says, blushing hard.

“Oh shut up,” Bucky grumbles. “You know how you look. You own a mirror, right? I bet you get hit on five times a day, at least.”

“Uh,” Steve says, feeling bashful and totally unsure of what he’s meant to say right now.

“So the problem has to be your personality,” Bucky carries on blithely and Steve feels his stomach drop.

Like, he knows there’s something about him that people aren’t attracted to. He rarely gets a second date, and never a third. At least, not since Peggy, and that ended over three years ago. But to hear another person say it out loud is pretty humbling. And horrifying.

“Thanks, Buck,” Steve mumbles, since he’s currently lying face down on the counter, his arms either side of his head, sheltering him from Bucky’s insistence on brutal honesty over Steve’s personality failures.

“No, you punk,” Bucky says irritably and forcefully yanks Steve’s arms away so he can look at him. “Unless you turn into a whole other person on these dates, like I’m talking Jekyll and Hyde, then there’s gotta be something else going on here. Do you suddenly forget all your pretty manners on these dates?”

Steve blinks at him. Pretty manners? “Uh, no? I always open doors for my dates and insist on paying,” Steve says with a frown.

“Well, it’s not the 1940s anymore so maybe you just gotta stop being so traditional and offer to go dutch sometimes,” Bucky shrugs, glancing down the bar. “Hold that thought.”

He moves away to serve another customer and Steve belatedly realizes that he should probably feel bad about monopolizing so much of his time when he’s at work, but he can’t muster up any guilt.

His phone vibrates in his pocket.

“Hey Sam,” he says when he answers. “What’s up?”

There’s a long suffering sigh down the phone. It sounds just like the sound Bucky had made when Steve walked into the bar earlier. “You don’t sound like you’re on a date,” Sam says with faint accusation in his voice.

“Uh, no,” Steve says. “She stood me up so I’m at the White Wolf.”

“Of course you are,” Sam mutters. “Wait, she stood you up? How is that even possible?”

“Maybe she had a good reason,” Steve says defensively. “Maybe she lost her phone, or there was an emergency or something.”

“Sure,” Sam says, sounding unconvinced. “Well, it’s her loss, man.”

Steve exhales slowly and manages a small smile just as Bucky returns with another beer for him. “Thanks,” he murmurs, to both of them.

“Hey Sam,” Bucky says in a raised tone. “Your boy needs a hug.”

“Hey it’s my favorite bartender,” Sam yells down the line loudly enough that Steve pulls the phone away from his ear with a wince. “Tell Steve he’s gotta stop letting people set him up on dates that never work out.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows at that little tidbit and Steve groans into his free hand. “Will do,” he says. “Come in for a drink sometime, Sam. We can actually meet and discuss Steve’s terrible dating history.”

“It’s a date!” Sam yells and then he’s saying his goodbyes before he ends the call.

“You two can never, ever meet,” Steve mumbles through his hand, which is still covering his face. “I can’t handle the two of you together.”

Bucky laughs and reaches over to lightly punch his shoulder. “We’re just looking out for you, buddy,” he says in what Steve can only assume is a blatant lie.

He gives Bucky his best mournful gaze while he rubs his shoulder, pretending to be hurt, and gets a snort of laughter for his troubles. “How did you know it was Sam, anyway?”

“You weren’t amused and annoyed, so I knew it wasn’t your buddy Tony,” Bucky says easily as Steve’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Or confused and flirty, so probably not Natasha either. And you didn’t have your big brother voice on either, so not Wanda. So it had to be Sam. Also, you talk to Sam all the time, so the odds were in my favor.”

Steve is almost certain that in all the months he’s been coming to Bucky’s bar, he’s only mentioned a few of those names in passing. “You picked up on all of that?” he asks, eyes wide.

“Uh yeah, sorry,” Bucky says with a grimace. “I overhear a lot of conversations here and I have a good memory so a lot of it just kinda sticks with me, whether I want it to or not.”

“No, it’s impressive,” Steve says with an awed grin. “I thought I did a better job of hiding my annoyance with Tony though.”

“Don’t worry, it’s subtle,” Bucky assures him. “Sam checking in with your date?”

“Yeah,” Steve says and his grin fades as he feels the crushing failure of his dating life once again. He can feel Bucky watching him and after a few minutes, he lifts his head to meet Bucky’s gaze head on.

“You should take me on a date,” Bucky says eventually.

Steve, embarrassingly, splutters over his beer. “What?” he manages between coughs, staring at Bucky in shock.

Bucky grins at him. “Take me on a date and I can tell you all the things you’re doing wrong. I can bring score cards if you like.”

“Score cards?” Steve echoes. His heart is beating weirdly loudly in his chest and he holds his beer a little tighter. “Why?”

“Think of it as a test date,” Bucky tells him. “I can be an impartial judge and tell you when you’re doing something wrong, so when you go on your next real date, you won’t scare them off.”

“I don’t scare them off,” Steve protests.

“Uh huh,” Bucky says with a roll of his eyes. “So, what do you think?”

“Look, Buck, it’s real nice of you to offer,” Steve starts before Bucky cuts him off.

“I’m working tomorrow but my shift ends at six,” Bucky says. “You got plans tomorrow night, Steve?”

Steve’s mind has gone completely blank. “You’re being serious,” he says slowly.

“I’m trying to get you laid,” Bucky says, matter of factly. “Something tells me you’re not a one night stand kinda guy, so if you can’t get past a first date, it’s probably been a while for you, yeah?”

Steve flushes bright red but he doesn’t deny it. He’s not embarrassed about it or anything, but Bucky saying it out loud and so plainly is making him feel stupid hot.

“So we figure out what you’re doing wrong, you find a nice girl or guy, get a second date and maybe you spend less time jerking off and more time jerking someone else off, you know?” Bucky says with a filthy wink.

Steve’s stomach swoops dangerously. “Yeah,” he says thickly and bravely ignores the way Bucky’s eyes light up and his grin widens. “That sounds good.”

“Attaboy, Stevie,” Bucky says encouragingly. “We’ll get you laid within a week, I swear. And don’t worry, I’m an excellent date so I can show you exactly what you’re doing wrong.”

With a parting wink, he swaggers down the length of the bar to wipe down tables, leaving Steve to stare after him with a weird half-boner in his pants.

Bucky’s right. He really needs to get laid.

*

Bucky’s running late so he just has time to head to the staff restroom to change his shirt and tousle his hair back into an actual style before he steps out and finds Steve waiting for him. He’s dressed in his usual date night uniform - a dark blue and white checkered shirt this time - and his trusty brown leather jacket that looks like it’s seen better days. Bucky grins when Steve looks up and catches his eye.

“Hello Steve,” Bucky says and offers his hand.

Steve looks confused but he takes Bucky’s hand anyway - nice firm grip, Bucky thinks, no sweaty palms - and they shake hands. “Uh, hey Buck.”

“You look very handsome,” Bucky continues, letting his gaze roam down Steve’s body with unabashed interest.

“Thanks,” Steve says slowly. “Aren’t you gonna hassle me for wearing the same thing I always wear?”

“Well now, Steve, how would I possibly know what you wear on dates when we’ve never met before?” Bucky says innocently.

“Oh,” Steve says and he flushes when he gets the message. “Oh, right. A test date, right.” His gaze flickers down Bucky’s body and he tries to hide the twitch of a smile when he registers Bucky’s red henley. “You look very handsome too, Buck. Red looks real nice on you.”

Bucky snickers and elbows Steve gently. “I thought I’d make an effort for a hunk like you,” he says, batting his eyelashes exaggeratedly.

“Okay, I don’t think I can do this,” Steve protests but Bucky just laughs and pulls him out of the bar and onto the street.

“Sorry, that was probably overboard,” Bucky says. “Where are we going?” Steve names a restaurant that makes Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up. “Nice,” he says with a whistle. “I’m impressed. Fancy, but not too fancy.”

“Sam suggested it,” Steve admits. They start walking in the direction of the restaurant. “So, Bucky, how’s your day been?”

Bucky decides to give Steve a play-by-play account of his incredibly boring day, which lasts until they’re being seated at their table and Steve’s still nodding along, giving a good impression of being interested in Bucky’s terrible story.

“Sounds like an exciting day,” Steve says when Bucky finally stops talking.

“Asshole,” Bucky laughs and shakes his head. “How did you manage to keep a straight face? That was the most boring story I’ve ever told in my life.”

“I thought it was fascinating,” Steve says, looking completely honest except for the slight twitch of his lips and the twinkle in his eyes. “Especially the third time you explained how to pour a beer.”

Bucky snickers as he opens his menu. They order their meals and their drinks - a water for Steve and a beer for Bucky - and then Bucky gets comfortable in his seat and laces his fingers together in front of him. “So, Steve,” he begins. “Tell me, what do you do?”

“Buck, you know I’m a comic book illustrator,” Steve says.

“Sure,” Bucky says easily. “But I also know that you got dumped because your date thought it was childish and geeky, so tell me what you told whatshisface.”

“Everett?” Steve gives Bucky a pleading look but Bucky just stares at him evenly. “Fine, alright. I’m a comic book illustrator.”

“Wow, Steve, that sounds really interesting!” Bucky says enthusiastically, because honestly, that’s the only correct response to finding out that someone who looks like Steve has an awesome job too. “What comic?”

“This uh, isn’t exactly how that conversation went, Buck,” Steve leans in to whisper, like he’s breaking character in a play.

“Oh, screw him, Stevie,” Bucky says dismissively. “He obviously wasn’t into comics or art, so it was never going to work out between you anyway. So, Hawkeye, huh?”

Steve’s lips twitch again. “I never said Hawkeye,” he points out. “But yeah, that’s what I work on mostly.”

“Tell me the god’s honest truth,” Bucky says and sits up a little straighter before he looks around like he’s making sure no one’s listening into their conversation. “Is it based on someone you know?”

A blush steals prettily across Steve’s amazing cheekbones. “Uh, maybe?” he offers, which is when Bucky learns about Natasha’s boyfriend Clint, and that Natasha herself is Steve’s inspiration for Black Widow.

“Does she know?” Bucky asks.

“She figured it out in the first issue,” Steve says with a grin. “It took Clint a year to realize he was Hawkeye. He hasn’t stopped bragging about it since.”

“Well, sure,” Bucky says. “I wouldn’t either. Hey, maybe if this works out, you can draw me in one of your comics,” he says, tilting his head and sending Steve his best flirty smile.

He gets a faceful of napkin instead. “Hey!”

“You’re too pretty to be in Hawkeye,” Steve says, easily enough that it doesn’t sound like a line. Bucky’s cheeks heat anyway at the compliment, whether Steve means it or not. Everything Steve says has this terrible way of sounding completely sincere. “Maybe if I ever need a smart-mouthed Brooklyn bartender for another comic though.”

“I’m impressed that you managed to both compliment and insult me at the same time,” Bucky says dryly. “Alright, so it’s not your work. What other reasons did your dates give?”

“This is gonna be fun,” Steve groans before he gamely starts listing them. “Too boring, too nice, bisexual, obnoxious friends.”

“Wait, someone dumped you for being bisexual?” Bucky asks.

“She seemed to think it was code for being gay but not out,” Steve says with a shrug. There’s a hurt look on his face that Bucky is almost certain Steve doesn’t realize he’s broadcasting as openly as he is and he feels a very rational, reasonable swell of anger at Steve’s date for being a homophobic idiot.

“Well, she clearly doesn’t count,” Bucky says, his voice a little tight. Steve looks at him and Bucky shrugs. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being bisexual. Nothing. Alright?”

“Yeah, Buck,” Steve says softly and gives Bucky a soft smile that makes Bucky’s anger subside just a little.

“We’re also discounting too boring, because that’s blatantly untrue,” Bucky decides. “So, what did Tony do to scare off your date?”

“I never said it was Tony,” Steve points out. Bucky stares at him until Steve rolls his eyes. “Did I ever mention that Tony’s full name is Tony Stark?” he asks and Bucky’s eyes widen.

“Your buddy Tony, who annoys the hell out of you but calls you at least every half hour, is Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries?” Bucky says slowly. He feels like everything he thought he knew about Steve has just turned on his head.

“I think Pepper is CEO now,” Steve says and smiles gamely when Bucky glares at him. “Uh, he’s really into comics. A complete nerd for Hawkeye. And uh, maybe the inspiration for Iron Man?”

“Oh my god,” Bucky mutters. “That makes so much sense.”

Steve chuckles. “I’ve done a few commissions for him and we somehow became friends. I don’t really understand him at all, but he’s a good person, Buck. Weird, possibly a bit crazy, but good.”

“I have a feeling you see the good in everyone you meet, Steve Rogers,” Bucky says with a shake of his head. “So you and your buddy Tony Stark, former CEO of Stark Industries, what do you talk about?”

Steve scratches the back of his neck and looks a bit confused. “I’m not really sure,” he admits. “Comics, motorcycles, my terrible dates. Sometimes while I’m still on them. That was, uh, the problem.”

Their food arrives and Bucky takes a moment to watch Steve carefully place his napkin over his lap and wait for Bucky to start eating before he picks up his own knife and fork. Bucky’s having a hard time figuring out what Steve’s doing wrong on these dates, because as far as he can tell, Steve’s the perfect date. He’s attentive and gorgeous, he asks interesting questions and listens to Bucky when he talks. Bucky’s starting to think that all of Steve’s dates have been idiots and jerks.

“How’s your food?” Steve asks.

“Pretty good,” Bucky admits, even though he’s barely had a mouthful because Steve is way more distracting than Bucky thought he’d be. “Yours?”

“Almost as good as my ma’s,” he says.

“Yeah? Is your ma a good cook?” Bucky asks.

“The best,” Steve says decisively.

“I dunno, Stevie, my mom’s cooking is pretty good too,” Bucky says thoughtfully. “I think I’d have to challenge your ma for her honor as the best cook.”

Steve laughs, his eyes crinkling. “What’s her specialty?”

“Mac and cheese,” Bucky says dreamily. He should probably go visit her soon, he hasn’t seen his mom or Becca for a few weeks, even though they live just across the river. “My sister inherited all the cooking skills in the family though. I’m shit in the kitchen.”

“What’s your sister’s name?” Steve asks, which leads to Bucky telling him all of Becca’s biggest achievements, from her track record in school to her ability to tell when he’s lying every single time he tries.

“She sounds like a fun little sister,” Steve says. He’s got that rapt expression again, like everything Bucky says is of the utmost importance and he wants to listen forever.

“She should be, she’s got an awesome big brother to look up to,” Bucky says with a grin. “So, tell me Steve, why did your date complain that you were too nice?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know,” Steve says with a one shoulder shrug. “I thought being nice was a good thing.”

“Hmmm,” Bucky says and gives Steve a thoughtful look. Under the table, he slides his sneaker-clad foot over towards Steve’s and gives him a little nudge. Steve blinks at him but doesn’t do anything else. Bucky sighs. “Perhaps you were misreading her signals,” he says slowly and slides his foot up Steve’s calf. The definition Bucky feels under his pants leg is ridiculous.

Steve’s eyes go humorously wide but he doesn’t pull away. When Bucky lowers his foot to the ground, Steve rubs his foot up and down Bucky’s ankle. It’s cute, Bucky thinks and gives Steve an encouraging smile.

After a few minutes of what Bucky can only describe as flexible footsie playing, Steve leans in and, keeping his voice low, asks Bucky if he’s doing it right. “No one’s ever played footsie with me before,” he admits.

Bucky groans silently. “Steve, you’re doing great, buddy,” he says firmly. He was definitely right about all of Steve’s past dates being idiots for passing up the opportunity to play footsie with a shy-looking Steve Rogers. “You ever try holding hands?” he asks and puts his hand down in the middle of the table, palm upwards in invitation.

Steve stares at his hand for a few seconds before he carefully slides his hand into Bucky’s, warm and strong and with just the right amount of pressure.

It’s nice. It’s really nice. Bucky squeezes his hand gently and offers another smile.

“You’re being really thorough,” Steve murmurs. When Bucky lifts his eyebrows in question, Steve nods at their joined hands. “With your help, I’ll be an expert at dating by the end of the night.”

“You sure are,” Bucky agrees and strokes his thumb softly over the back of Steve’s hand. They’ve still got a whole night left, so Bucky decides that he’s going to bring his A game, just for Steve. “Dinner was really good,” he murmurs, deliberately making his voice a little husky for effect. “I really enjoyed myself, Steve.”

“Me too,” Steve says, matching his tone to Bucky’s. “This was. It was a really good date, Bucky. Thanks.”

“Not over yet, big guy,” Bucky says before he catches his bottom lip with his teeth, pleased when Steve’s gaze lowers to his mouth.

“Yeah?” Steve asks, a hint of hopefulness in his voice.

Bucky bites down on his lip, because Steve’s a quick learner and he still sounds stupidly sincere when he talks. It’s doing crazy things to his pulse. “Yeah,” he breathes, because he’s the teacher here, and he’s not gonna get out-played by the guy who can’t get a second date.

The waiter appears with their check and Bucky sees Steve’s free hand automatically reaching for his back pocket before he stills himself and looks over at Bucky, his cheeks flushed. “You wanna go dutch?” he asks, clearly hoping that Bucky’s gonna say no.

Bucky grins and shakes his head. “I asked you out, Steve. Let me pay.”

Steve looks like he wants nothing more than to argue, and there’s a moment where his body goes completely still. Then he swallows hard and nods. “Sure,” he says, a little thickly.

Bucky pretends not to notice, aiming a wicked grin his way instead and taking out his wallet. As a reward, Bucky slides his sneaker up Steve’s calf again except this time he doesn’t stop, sliding all the way to Steve’s thigh. He hears a sharp gasp and averts his eyes to concentrate on fishing out some cash to pay for dinner. He feels a little pride at drawing a reaction from Steve, except he’s almost certain that Steve’s probably a little touch starved right now and reacting to touch in general, rather than Bucky himself.

“You gonna walk me home, babe?” Bucky asks as they step out of the restaurant and into the cool Brooklyn air.

“Sure,” Steve beams at him and they fall into step together, Steve following his lead.

They take no more than a few steps before Bucky feels Steve’s hand sliding carefully into his. Bucky grins to himself.

“This okay?” Steve murmurs, not looking at him.

“Yeah,” Bucky says softly. “It’s nice. Perfect.”

They walk in comfortable silence for a while, their laced hands swinging idly between them.

“Well, I can categorically say that you’re an excellent date, Steve Rogers,” Bucky says when they’re nearing his apartment block. “I don’t know why all your dates failed so miserably. I’d give you a solid nine out of ten.”

“Nine?” Steve pouts at him.

“Gotta leave room for improvement,” Bucky grins at him.

“I uh, should probably tell you something though,” Steve says, looking a little bashful. “Talking to you was a lot easier than talking to a stranger who thinks that my personality should match my looks. I was more comfortable tonight than on my other dates.”

“Hey, that’s normal,” Bucky reassures him with a squeeze of his hand. “We’re friends, right? It’s always easier to talk to friends than strangers.”

He’s about to say something else when Steve’s phone starts vibrating. Steve shoots him an apologetic look but Bucky just waves him off and Steve answers. “Hey Nat,” he says. He keeps his hand locked on Bucky’s, so Bucky doesn’t feel bad about unashamedly eavesdropping on their call.

“It was fine,” Steve says cagily. He’s determinedly not looking at Bucky.

Bucky grins.

“I told you, it’s not a real date,” he hisses into his phone. “No, Natasha.”

Bucky laughs quietly and Steve shoots him a look. “Yes it’s going well,” he says softly this time. “Yes, really well.”

Bucky leans into his shoulder a little, trying to be supportive while Steve deals with his nosy friends.

“Alright,” Steve laughs into the phone. “I’ll talk to you later. I’ll tell him. Bye.”

“Tell me what?” Bucky asks as Steve slips his phone back into his pocket.

“She says hi,” Steve says. “Sorry about that. My friends are, um, involved?”

That makes Bucky laugh. “I think the polite word you’re looking for is curious,” he says. “It’s cute, don’t worry. You’ve got the Black Widow looking out for you. That’s kinda cool.”

Steve looks at him like it’s decidedly not cool, so Bucky snickers and feels a little smug about how well Steve seems to think their test date is going.

“Hey,” he says and nudges his shoulder into Steve’s. “So this is actually the best date I’ve been on all year.”

Steve looks at him in surprise and then draws his eyebrows together. “Just this year?”

Bucky snorts. “Alright, maybe it’s the best date I’ve ever been on. Happy? You can rest assured that you’re a great date, so it’s clearly everyone else’s fault that they haven’t grabbed onto you with both arms and held on for dear life -”

Bucky breaks off as he’s pulled into an alley a few yards away from his apartment building, crowded up against a wall and Steve kisses him.

After a few seconds of shocked paralysis, Bucky snakes his hands up Steve’s body - god, he’s so hot - and slides them into Steve’s artfully arranged hair, messing him up almost immediately as he kisses Steve back.

He’s a good kisser, Bucky thinks dazedly, then Steve presses in closer and he can’t think at all. Steve’s only a few inches taller than him but he’s so much broader that Bucky feels small in comparison. He wonders if Steve could hold him up against the wall with his strength.

Then he realizes how stupid that thought is, and switches to thinking about how long Steve could hold him up against the wall for.

“Oh my god,” Bucky mumbles against Steve’s lips and kisses him harder, scrambling to get as close as he can. He almost cries in relief when one of Steve’s big thighs slides between Bucky’s legs and he grinds his dick - oh wow, he’s so hard - down against him. “Jesus, Steve.”

“Is this okay,” Steve gasps between kisses, his hands holding onto Bucky’s hips like he never wants to let go. Bucky writhes against him, just to feel Steve resist and hold him in place.

God, it’s so hot. Steve’s so hot. Bucky wants to ride him like a fucking train.

“Shut up,” Bucky says breathlessly. “Kiss me.”

Steve obliges. He obliges hard.

“You probably shouldn’t kiss your dates like this on the first date,” Bucky says as Steve presses slow, wet kisses down Bucky’s throat. Bucky feels like he’s on fire. Steve’s literally the hottest person he’s ever met in his life. And he’s kissing him. With intent.

“Oh, sorry,” Steve says, pulling back just a few inches. It’s way too much space, Bucky decides and yanks him back in.

“Just with me, yeah?” Bucky tells him seriously.

Steve laughs and latches onto Bucky’s neck again. It’s so, so, so hot.

“We’re gonna get arrested,” Bucky pants. He doesn’t stop trying to ride Steve’s thigh though. He needs to be hosed down. A sexy hose down, hopefully. God he’s so hot, he doesn’t think he’s making sense anymore. “My place,” he says around a groan as Steve kisses the underside of his jaw, “around the corner. Fifty steps, tops.”

“Okay,” Steve mumbles, scraping his thumb over Bucky’s unshaven cheek.

Except Steve is a lying liar who lies, because he kisses Bucky again and it’s another few minutes before Bucky gets his hands between their bodies and physically shoves Steve away.

Steve gives him a reproachful look.

“Naked. My apartment. Two minutes,” Bucky says. He points helpfully. “Let’s go.”

They actually move this time and they make it all the way to his front door before Steve plasters himself against Bucky’s back. Bucky’s having some trouble trying to get his key in the lock while he’s got a heavy breathing, hulking hunk of a guy attached to him, mouthing at his neck in a very distracting way.

Bucky moans and tips his head back as Steve’s hand reaches up to circle his throat, easing Bucky’s head to the side so he can find more sensitive spots on Bucky’s skin to kiss.

“Is this okay,” Steve asks again.

“You’re such an asshole, don’t stop,” Bucky grumbles, trying blindly to shove his key home. “I know you know what you’re doing, you know.”

Steve laughs huskily and gently takes the key from Bucky before he breaks the damn thing. He slides it easily into the lock.

“Oh sure, now you’re smooth as fuck,” Bucky grumbles as they stumble through the door and slam it shut behind them.

Steve grins wickedly at him and Bucky groans, reaching for him again. “I don’t put out on the first date,” he says as he drags Steve towards his bedroom.

“Okay,” Steve says easily, lifting his arms to help Bucky strip off his shirt.

“Oh my god, you’re not real,” Bucky whines. He runs his hands down Steve’s chest, making helpless little noises of approval at how solid Steve is. “Fuck. This is probably like, our twelfth date by this point, right?”

Steve chuckles as he quickly and efficiently takes Bucky’s shirt off. “Definitely our twelfth date,” he says in a choked voice, his hands sweeping over Bucky’s shoulders and down to his hips.

He sinks to his knees with as much grace as he can muster with a rock hard dick in tight pants. “Good, now take off your pants because I’m gonna give you the best blowjob you’ve ever had in your life,” Bucky says confidently, mostly because he’s almost certain that Steve’s forgotten what blowjobs even feel like at this point in his life. But also, he’s got a hell of a mouth on him.

Steve seems to agree if the way he twists his hands in Bucky’s hair is anything to go by. Bucky’s not normally into hair pulling, especially because every shithead tries it thanks to his long hair, but Steve’s movements seem almost unconscious, and Bucky’s far too busy jacking Steve’s amazing cock into his mouth and watching Steve straining to hold off on his orgasm to care all that much about a few little tugs.

“This is gonna be embarrassingly quick,” Steve pants. He’s staring at Bucky, watching his dick sliding in and out of his mouth. He cups Bucky’s cheek with one big, strong hand and presses his thumb against Bucky’s mouth. Bucky moans and closes his eyes, desperately trying not to come in his pants because apparently, watching Steve get off really, really does it for him.

Steve warns him just before he comes in Bucky’s mouth. Bucky’s still swallowing as he falls back against the floor, taking a dopey, post-orgasmic Steve with him. He wriggles around, trying to undo his stupid fucking pants until Steve finally gets with the program and wrestles them down to Bucky’s knees.

“Now, now, now,” Bucky chants, lifting his hips so Steve can get his boxers down too.

Steve barely gets a hand around him before Bucky’s fucking up into his grip, pulling Steve in for sloppy kisses. “Not gonna last,” Bucky whines while Steve laughs at him, the asshole. “Steve. Steve!”

“Shhh,” Steve says, like an asshole. Jerk. Punk. “We can take our time next time, I promise. You can come, Buck. I want you to come.”

“Fucking trying,” Bucky groans. Steve nips at his throat and that’s all it takes for Bucky to come all over Steve’s fist, riding it out for as long as he can before he pushes Steve’s hand away, oversensitive and dazed.

After a while - Bucky has no idea how long, he’s lost all track of time - Steve gets to his feet and wanders off. He must find the bathroom because it’s not long before he’s back, cleaning Bucky up and helping him into bed.

“Wait,” Bucky says and makes an uncoordinated grab for Steve’s hand as he starts to move away. “You’re staying, right?”

Steve’s mouth curves into a gorgeously shy smile. “Yeah, Buck,” he says softly and tucks a stray hair behind Bucky’s ear. “If you want me to.”

“Never want you to leave,” Bucky grumbles, his eyes already closing. Steve never lies, so he can relax knowing that Steve’s gonna come back and spoon the fuck out of him, hopefully. “Is it too soon to say that?”

Steve’s laughter drifts through the room, but he soon climbs into Bucky’s bed and wraps his arms around Bucky, pulling him flush against his big, beautiful chest. “You can say whatever you want,” he says, nuzzling behind Bucky’s ear. “I like hearing it.”

Bucky falls asleep with Steve’s hand in his, their fingers twined together.

*

Bucky wakes up to the smell of bacon and toast. He yawns and stretches before he stumbles into the bathroom and brushes his teeth before he walks into the kitchen to find a half-naked Steve making them breakfast.

“Morning,” Bucky says and slides his arm around Steve’s waist, resting his head on Steve’s broad shoulders.

“Morning,” Steve says and turns in Bucky’s arms to press a kiss to Bucky’s eager lips. “You wanna make some coffee?”

“Sure.” Bucky busies himself making coffee for both of them and then they sit down to eat. It’s edible, which is a step up from anything Bucky can do in the kitchen. “Oh my god, you’re actually like, perfect,” he says when his plate is clear and he can push back from the table to climb into Steve’s lap. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Steve beams at him and settles his hands on Bucky’s waist.

“How did no one lock you up before now?” Bucky asks. “Like, serious question here, Rogers.”

Steve flushes prettily and rubs at the back of his neck. “I mean, I think you’re biased,” he says and ignores Bucky’s snort of agreement. “Also I was thinking while I was making breakfast and maybe I wasn’t fully invested in all those dates. At least, not since that first night I walked into the White Wolf and kind of fell head over heels for a gorgeous bartender.”

Bucky stares at him for a moment. “You jerk,” he groans and smacks his head heavily onto Steve’s chest. “That’s such a line.”

“Is it working?” Steve asks, sounding curious rather than hopeful.

“Dammit, yes you asshole,” Bucky says and lifts his head, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck and grinning at him dopily. “Now come here so I can suck your stupid dick again.”

Steve’s still laughing when he pulls Bucky in for a kiss. Bucky’s gonna totally rock his world, but first he wants to kiss his boyfriend. “Boyfriend?” he murmurs against Steve’s mouth. He should probably check before he throws the word around. “Are we there yet? I feel like we’re there already. Is it too fast?”

“Boyfriend,” Steve agrees with another laugh and pulls him to the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://lovedyouless.tumblr.com/)


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